Season 2, 010: In this last edition of Season Two, let's share our stories of account-keeping - those times when we need to take a frank look at who we are, what we've lost, what we've got...
Love this biography you've shared Monique, and the Lewis ref. How much I love that film (and his book about that loss, A Grief Observed). It will be a pleasure to feature you and that beautiful tribute you wrote to your father. I will let you know when 'your' issue is coming up. Thank you as ever for being such a generous and bright-shining member of our community here. Excited for Season 3 starting next week! Txxx
Thank you dear Monique. I love that my book - with its story of my mum - brought you to this story-sharing community, of which you are now such a vital and generous presence. What you've written about your beloved dad stays loud in my mind, and always will. xxx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
Hello Monique! As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured - I'm thinking The Whistle from Gestures, Remembered but let me know if you'd prefer another!
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
Sending lots of love to you & your Mum Tanya. I lost my Dad 3 months ago also to an 8 month terminal illness - it was very hard to watch but also precious focussed time & I was lucky to be there as he passed. Wishing you strength & peace too through this time, big hugs xx
I'm so sorry for your loss - but also glad that you could be there as you wanted to be. I so hope that I will be able to be beside Mum in the same way. Thank you for your words of support. xx
And another Helen writing... I’ve spent the last week organising my mother’s funeral and moving house (as the completion date was set before she died) and my heart goes out to you and your mother. I’m in awe of you writing this post when you’ve just received such heartbreaking news. So I’m sending the love of one stranger to your mother who I will never meet and wishing that the two of you manage to share many moments of beauty and joy together in the precious time you have left.
Oh Helen. How hard that sounds to be - your Mum dying and then so soon after having to pack up her home. No time to pace yourself with that always-strange life passage of being among the possessions of a gone loved one (or a family member with whom we had a hard relationship). I will hold you in my thoughts, as you have done for me and Mum. xxx
Tanya, sending all good energy to you and your Mum, as you traverse the path ahead. I hope that your time together is good as her story winds down.
I know you largely through your Hagitude contributions, so am glad to interact more here as well.
Sending hugs to both of you. My mom has been gone for almost twenty years, way too young. I've tried to honor that by living more largely in the world to honor her spirit. I'll be redoubling that intention as I become even more elder.
Thank you Lisa. It's such a joy to be part of Sharon's Hagitude community (and what generosity on her part, to invite a fellow author in). And even more special to have you and others from there join me here. This project is a rest-of-life commitment to me, even if and when I return to some form of regular office work. Even if hardly anyone contributes stories anymore! But I very much hope to receive them from you and others here for a long time to come. xxx
Tanya, we will miss you on Saturday. Thank your mom for bringing you into the world the first time and have her share stories that we can’t forget. The cure for long sleep as we know it is the prince’s kiss, the prince of remembrance. A native saying from the New World: “we only die when the last person who remembered us dies.” Has Shakespeare died yet? Much love and mirth in the stories to come HagAg-nes
I love that perspective, Agnes, and yes, being in the book is much on Mum's mind: part of how she feels her life to have meaning. Each time she tells me a story, I remind her 'It's in the book'. And then she smiles and says oh yes. Good. You were listening after all.
Whereas the awful man she was married to for forty years? When he goes very few will ever speak of him again.
My father, her first husband, is buried only a few graves up and along from where her own plot is chosen and paid for. She smiled the other evening and said: 'He's in the damp and shady bit by the hedge, whereas I shall be in the sun, by the path'. At first I didn't know how to react, but then I had to laugh, as she was doing.
Hi Tanya. I'm so sorry to read this. I remember your mum moving into her own place by the sea, it was a joyful and triumphant moment. I did not think her time there would be so short. I'm sending you both love and hugs. My own mother has had 2 strokes, and she is not the same person. She is still with us but I already feel a sense of loss. The mother-daughter relationship is such a complicated one, but in the end, all that matters is love. Xxx
Oh Ali. Thank you for thinking of us when your own mum is so changed. I am counting my blessings to be in a community here with you and others who have elderly parents who are in their last life passage. Back when my beloved grandmother could no longer stay in her home, I only had my husband to talk to (and then on a landline phone in a freezing cold hallway of gran's bungalow). No interrnet. No network of likeminds as I have with all of you here, now. xxx
I have passed it on. She's here beside me watching an episode of Morse she knows by heart. I'm letting go of clock time as I tried to do when a new mother years ago, but with more grace and ease this time. Just keeping her quiet company. xx
Darling Tan, I am sending boundless love to you and Margaret. It is such desperately sad news, especially as your mother went through so many tough years, and yet what a blessing that she found freedom and happiness in the final years of her life. That is beautiful, as are you. xxx
Oh beautiful you. I didn't realise this was you, Sophie, at first!
I've now got mum back from hospital to her flat and I'm seeing whether she can manage independently with daily visits from her sister for just a few weeks so I can be back with the children a while until the end stage symptoms mean I need to be here with her continuously.
We were told categorically (in an open ward!) that she has two months, likely less. Then a few days later a vaguer more open prognosis. It means Mum is feeling hopeful and determined to beat the odds and get a year, more - she's buying a mobility scooter on Friday! - but I feel more cautious, and alert to signs of the next stage setting in. It's an odd feeling, to be happy for her joy at returning home to her flat...while being worried at what the very end stage brings (which she doesnt want to know about).
As soon as I know a bit more about my whereabouts next month, I'll be in touch to see when you'd like to share an insta live for your beautiful and important book.
Dear Tanya, I left you a message on twitter when I heard about your mum. How you are finding the energy to do all this for us at the same time, I do not know, but thank you. Re-reading my pieces, I am most struck by the one I shared with the Desire theme, not least because I decided at New Year to give up on that manuscript - there's only so much hope, I have discovered. Thank you again and I send you strength for the time ahead xx
Thank you dear Tamsin. I feel very fortunate to be in this community with all of you. I will love to have you as one of the featured contributors in one of my Season Three newsletters. In a fortnight or so I will come back here with a link for you to a form with some questions for you to answer, that I will use alongside your Desire piece when I feature you. xx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
Tamsin Grainger is a writer, walking artist and Shiatsu-ista. She writes memoir (‘So Hormonal’ anthology, Wild Woman Press magazine), nature writing (Caught by the River, Wanderlust), sound poems (short-listed, Sound Walk September 2021 and 2022), essays (Hinterland place-writing competition long-list), and has authored ‘Death and Loss in Shiatsu Practice’.
Website and social media: www.tamsingrainger.com Insta @tamsinshiatsu Twitter @WalkNoDonkey
The piece I would like featured is ‘Desire’
My current creative journey: I have written a book about walking on Orkney, about how I left home, aged 53, and discovered the power of secular pilgrimage. It is a travelling story of facing guilt and shame and finding forgiveness in the landscape, one I hoped would embolden others. Coming across Tanya’s work at the earliest stage inspired me to apply to Creative Scotland for an agent to read it. Contributing short pieces to this writerly community, with encouraging feedback, supported me in contacting publishers, who asked for the full manuscript. Now? After 2.5 years of rejection, I have abandoned it.
More: I came to this community through discovering Tanya’s mile of writing beside the swimming pool which was seriously cool! Following her on Twitter, I appreciated how she was releasing paragraphs of her memoir and inviting others to respond. Her honesty was refreshing, and her generosity heart-warming. I am very grateful. The monthly contact encouraged me to write on topics I would not otherwise have tackled, and I discovered there were others like me. I enjoyed reading their responses and finding ways to give back some love. I am re-engaging, prompted to re-evaluate, and sense that this might move me on.
This is wonderful, Tamsin, and I'm very much looking forward to featuring your work. I will let you know via here in advance when 'your' issue is coming out. Txx
Please give my very best to your mum. To start again,to step out of the known, knowing that you're in the latter part of life - that's brave, that's inspiring. She has reminded me that every moment is precious and that there are always opportunities for change and renewal. I hope you can find something to treasure in the next few months.
Oh Sarah. What beautiful words you have given me here to read to Mum this evening (we are back in her flat now after her long and upsetting hospital stay). I love knowing you are only a short distance away. In the past I had no friends back here in my home county. Now I have a wonderful sense of you and a few good others nearby.
I've been looking out for your poems as I will definitely want to read and provide words of praise (I know already from the writing you've shared here that I will be moved and full of admiration). As I might be moving a lot between Sussex and Bude this season, perhaps you could email me them as a PDF? xxx
Dearest Tanya! I’m so sad to hear about your mum’s news. I hope very much that her medical team will be able to make her as comfortable as possible. Such precious and difficult times you’ve got ahead of you both. But you both must be so proud of each other and appreciative of that beautiful bond that you have. You were both so brave and wise to make such enormous changes in your lives. Not many would be able to be as bold and daring. Your mum will live not only in your memories but in your stories too. And those stories will help to heal hearts and souls of so many. Please give your mum a huge hug from me. Take care of yourself. Lots and lots of love xx
Dear Elena - I will indeed pass on your beautiful words (and your hug!). Thank you again for being part of this community and the other one with share with Sharon. Each time you write from your life, I feel a great sense of gratitude for your perspectives.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum's news Tanya. I read the The Cure for Sleep in spring 2022 and when I was finished I immediately read it again. Bought a copy to give to a friend. Told another friend she needed to take it to her book group. Because there is so much truth, so much wisdom, so much love and so much raw fierceness in that book that it took (and still takes) my breath away. I am finally just days away from my now ex-husband moving out of my house, after a long, slow and painful dying marriage. Reading your mum's story in The Cure for Sleep helped give me strength, courage, and most of all hope for a different future for myself. She has played a small but important part in me being able to envisage a different life and have the courage to take those crucial steps to regain the freedom that has been lost to me for the best part of a decade. So thank you to you both. Much love. x
Suse, the way you have responded to my book and shared word of it means so much to me. That's all I wanted for my story, my mother's - not for criticial acclaim or prizes, but for it to be worth being passed from hand to hand.
The last days of a marriage, of a shared life, are so so hard. I honestly didn't believe my mother would survive it in 2020, those months after the end of the book. The first six months were wild and frightening...but then: I was astonished and awed at how quickly her life went into a late and beautiful bloom of new friends, self-sovereignty, and making a beautiful new home and routine, despite having so much less money and savings than before. If she had died in 2020 or before, very few people would have been part of mourning her passing. Now she will die surrounded by those who hold her in love and respect.
Whatever your situation now, I wish for you the same swift passage into more of everything you need and hope for. xxx
I continue to be struck by the tenderness of the photo of you and your mum. I admire you both so much for your willingness to have the hard discussions, to tell the truth and then the courage of your mum to really hear that truth so that the relationship could heal. Such a gift to all of us who read your book, who witnessed the power of change, a reminder of all that is possible, of new paths opening. Please share my gratitude to your mum for her graciousness in sharing these times with us, the offering of her struggles to continue to create meaning in her life, and therefore, in all of our lives, her ripple of compassion that will continue to move forth. It really has been her heroine’s journey to offer this sense of hope to us all, this challenge to live our lives to what is most true. It makes me smile to know that she was able to let go of all that held her tight and find true joy in her life. Much love to you both as you share these days together.
Sheila I will read your beautiful words aloud to Mum this evening, now that I've got her home from hospital and resettled into her beautiful seaside flat, loud with the sound of gulls and rooks.
Thank you again for being part of this community here. xx
I'm so sorry to learn of your mother's diagnosis, Tanya. What a tender time this must be for your entire family, but especially for the two of you. In your characteristically thoughtful way, you've provided your readers with many ways to stay engaged with the beautiful threads you've created here, and with you as you go through this passage. I remember my own mother's transition days as a sacred time out of time. Although incredibly painful, moments still float to the surface of my memory that comfort me. I wish you both courage as you navigate this time together... May it be as gentle and loving, and full of gratitude for life and what you've shared together.
Marilyn, I love what you've said her about a 'transition time'. And also about the time out of time. Mum has come home now feeling she can beat the odds and have a year or more instead of only a few months - and while I hope that comes to pass, my role as carer is to watch for signs of further decline and when I'm needed here continuously til the end stage, to try and - yes - put myself in that other time dimension that we experience when new mothers, or caring for a new small animal that comes into our home, or being with the dying. I hope that my failures of patience and perspective in the past will prepare me now not to be lacking in that way of being. Thank you again for joining our story-sharing project here. xx
Tanya, my experience with my mother's transition is that the other time dimension can teach us so much. It was really my fast-track and initiation into elder hood which, of course, is ongoing... Much love to you both. xx
Dear Tanya…I have been thinking of you and your mum lots since you shared the sad news with all of us. What a privilege it has been to be an active witness to her story, her unfolding late in life….her courage to break forth and set herself free. I say to her now: Your bravery is an example for everyone, and a reminder that it is never too late to go your own way in search of something better. Sending love….
Joan Didion wrote "We live by telling stories." Participating in this project has really made this powerfully clear; the palpable feeling of relief and contentment so strong when reading the words of others archived here, and submitting pieces of my own. In reviewing my own pieces, I am astonished by the depth I've reached in such short pieces. The one that means the most to me is "A Powerful Itch", on choosing, because that choice is really about finding the truth—uncovering, and telling.
Amy, these words from you for my mother will mean so so much to her. I will read them to her this evening, now I have got her home from hospital and settled back into her lovely flat (with its surround sound of seagulls and rooks).
I will love to make you one of the featured writers in Season Three, and will use this piece as the one you'd like to have showcased. I will come back here in the next fortnight to give you a link to a short Q&A I'd like you to complete so that I can share it with readers.
Our connection - first on Twitter, now on here - means so much to me. xx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
2. Amy Millios is a poet and writer who primarily focuses her work on the lived experience of chronic illness and the intergenerational trauma that often informs and shapes it. She is also a keen photographer.
5. I’m currently working on a book of poetry; also pulling apart my master’s thesis in order to better shape it into the memoir on living with chronic illness I originally envisioned. Becoming involved with The Cure for Sleep story archive has been instrumental in keeping me motivated in my work: not only has it afforded me the opportunity to connect with like-minded writers, the open-ended response timeframes have helped me to begin developing my own workflow around and between the pain and fatigue that so often make life a challenge.
This is wonderful, Amy. Love how you've described your practice here. I will let you know in advance via here when 'your' issue is coming out. Thank you again for being one of the earliest and enduring contributors to this project. Txx
It is a truly beautiful piece you've written, and it will be a privilege to showcase it in a Season 3 monthly issue. Txxx
Love this biography you've shared Monique, and the Lewis ref. How much I love that film (and his book about that loss, A Grief Observed). It will be a pleasure to feature you and that beautiful tribute you wrote to your father. I will let you know when 'your' issue is coming up. Thank you as ever for being such a generous and bright-shining member of our community here. Excited for Season 3 starting next week! Txxx
Thank you dear Monique. I love that my book - with its story of my mum - brought you to this story-sharing community, of which you are now such a vital and generous presence. What you've written about your beloved dad stays loud in my mind, and always will. xxx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
Hello Monique! As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured - I'm thinking The Whistle from Gestures, Remembered but let me know if you'd prefer another!
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
You're a much valued member of our community! xxx
Sending lots of love to you & your Mum Tanya. I lost my Dad 3 months ago also to an 8 month terminal illness - it was very hard to watch but also precious focussed time & I was lucky to be there as he passed. Wishing you strength & peace too through this time, big hugs xx
I'm so sorry for your loss - but also glad that you could be there as you wanted to be. I so hope that I will be able to be beside Mum in the same way. Thank you for your words of support. xx
And another Helen writing... I’ve spent the last week organising my mother’s funeral and moving house (as the completion date was set before she died) and my heart goes out to you and your mother. I’m in awe of you writing this post when you’ve just received such heartbreaking news. So I’m sending the love of one stranger to your mother who I will never meet and wishing that the two of you manage to share many moments of beauty and joy together in the precious time you have left.
Oh Helen. How hard that sounds to be - your Mum dying and then so soon after having to pack up her home. No time to pace yourself with that always-strange life passage of being among the possessions of a gone loved one (or a family member with whom we had a hard relationship). I will hold you in my thoughts, as you have done for me and Mum. xxx
Tanya, sending all good energy to you and your Mum, as you traverse the path ahead. I hope that your time together is good as her story winds down.
I know you largely through your Hagitude contributions, so am glad to interact more here as well.
Sending hugs to both of you. My mom has been gone for almost twenty years, way too young. I've tried to honor that by living more largely in the world to honor her spirit. I'll be redoubling that intention as I become even more elder.
Thank you Lisa. It's such a joy to be part of Sharon's Hagitude community (and what generosity on her part, to invite a fellow author in). And even more special to have you and others from there join me here. This project is a rest-of-life commitment to me, even if and when I return to some form of regular office work. Even if hardly anyone contributes stories anymore! But I very much hope to receive them from you and others here for a long time to come. xxx
Tanya, we will miss you on Saturday. Thank your mom for bringing you into the world the first time and have her share stories that we can’t forget. The cure for long sleep as we know it is the prince’s kiss, the prince of remembrance. A native saying from the New World: “we only die when the last person who remembered us dies.” Has Shakespeare died yet? Much love and mirth in the stories to come HagAg-nes
I love that perspective, Agnes, and yes, being in the book is much on Mum's mind: part of how she feels her life to have meaning. Each time she tells me a story, I remind her 'It's in the book'. And then she smiles and says oh yes. Good. You were listening after all.
Whereas the awful man she was married to for forty years? When he goes very few will ever speak of him again.
My father, her first husband, is buried only a few graves up and along from where her own plot is chosen and paid for. She smiled the other evening and said: 'He's in the damp and shady bit by the hedge, whereas I shall be in the sun, by the path'. At first I didn't know how to react, but then I had to laugh, as she was doing.
Hi Tanya. I'm so sorry to read this. I remember your mum moving into her own place by the sea, it was a joyful and triumphant moment. I did not think her time there would be so short. I'm sending you both love and hugs. My own mother has had 2 strokes, and she is not the same person. She is still with us but I already feel a sense of loss. The mother-daughter relationship is such a complicated one, but in the end, all that matters is love. Xxx
Oh Ali. Thank you for thinking of us when your own mum is so changed. I am counting my blessings to be in a community here with you and others who have elderly parents who are in their last life passage. Back when my beloved grandmother could no longer stay in her home, I only had my husband to talk to (and then on a landline phone in a freezing cold hallway of gran's bungalow). No interrnet. No network of likeminds as I have with all of you here, now. xxx
You have a wonderful community here, Tanya! I think you've earned it. Thanks for all you are doing here for us. And love to your mum. 💕
I have passed it on. She's here beside me watching an episode of Morse she knows by heart. I'm letting go of clock time as I tried to do when a new mother years ago, but with more grace and ease this time. Just keeping her quiet company. xx
Oh that's lovely, both of you just being in the moment together. 😘
Darling Tan, I am sending boundless love to you and Margaret. It is such desperately sad news, especially as your mother went through so many tough years, and yet what a blessing that she found freedom and happiness in the final years of her life. That is beautiful, as are you. xxx
Oh beautiful you. I didn't realise this was you, Sophie, at first!
I've now got mum back from hospital to her flat and I'm seeing whether she can manage independently with daily visits from her sister for just a few weeks so I can be back with the children a while until the end stage symptoms mean I need to be here with her continuously.
We were told categorically (in an open ward!) that she has two months, likely less. Then a few days later a vaguer more open prognosis. It means Mum is feeling hopeful and determined to beat the odds and get a year, more - she's buying a mobility scooter on Friday! - but I feel more cautious, and alert to signs of the next stage setting in. It's an odd feeling, to be happy for her joy at returning home to her flat...while being worried at what the very end stage brings (which she doesnt want to know about).
As soon as I know a bit more about my whereabouts next month, I'll be in touch to see when you'd like to share an insta live for your beautiful and important book.
Txxx
Dear Tanya, I left you a message on twitter when I heard about your mum. How you are finding the energy to do all this for us at the same time, I do not know, but thank you. Re-reading my pieces, I am most struck by the one I shared with the Desire theme, not least because I decided at New Year to give up on that manuscript - there's only so much hope, I have discovered. Thank you again and I send you strength for the time ahead xx
Thank you dear Tamsin. I feel very fortunate to be in this community with all of you. I will love to have you as one of the featured contributors in one of my Season Three newsletters. In a fortnight or so I will come back here with a link for you to a form with some questions for you to answer, that I will use alongside your Desire piece when I feature you. xx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
I am based in Edinburgh Scotland
Tamsin Grainger is a writer, walking artist and Shiatsu-ista. She writes memoir (‘So Hormonal’ anthology, Wild Woman Press magazine), nature writing (Caught by the River, Wanderlust), sound poems (short-listed, Sound Walk September 2021 and 2022), essays (Hinterland place-writing competition long-list), and has authored ‘Death and Loss in Shiatsu Practice’.
Website and social media: www.tamsingrainger.com Insta @tamsinshiatsu Twitter @WalkNoDonkey
The piece I would like featured is ‘Desire’
My current creative journey: I have written a book about walking on Orkney, about how I left home, aged 53, and discovered the power of secular pilgrimage. It is a travelling story of facing guilt and shame and finding forgiveness in the landscape, one I hoped would embolden others. Coming across Tanya’s work at the earliest stage inspired me to apply to Creative Scotland for an agent to read it. Contributing short pieces to this writerly community, with encouraging feedback, supported me in contacting publishers, who asked for the full manuscript. Now? After 2.5 years of rejection, I have abandoned it.
More: I came to this community through discovering Tanya’s mile of writing beside the swimming pool which was seriously cool! Following her on Twitter, I appreciated how she was releasing paragraphs of her memoir and inviting others to respond. Her honesty was refreshing, and her generosity heart-warming. I am very grateful. The monthly contact encouraged me to write on topics I would not otherwise have tackled, and I discovered there were others like me. I enjoyed reading their responses and finding ways to give back some love. I am re-engaging, prompted to re-evaluate, and sense that this might move me on.
This is wonderful, Tamsin, and I'm very much looking forward to featuring your work. I will let you know via here in advance when 'your' issue is coming out. Txx
Please give my very best to your mum. To start again,to step out of the known, knowing that you're in the latter part of life - that's brave, that's inspiring. She has reminded me that every moment is precious and that there are always opportunities for change and renewal. I hope you can find something to treasure in the next few months.
Oh Sarah. What beautiful words you have given me here to read to Mum this evening (we are back in her flat now after her long and upsetting hospital stay). I love knowing you are only a short distance away. In the past I had no friends back here in my home county. Now I have a wonderful sense of you and a few good others nearby.
I've been looking out for your poems as I will definitely want to read and provide words of praise (I know already from the writing you've shared here that I will be moved and full of admiration). As I might be moving a lot between Sussex and Bude this season, perhaps you could email me them as a PDF? xxx
Dearest Tanya! I’m so sad to hear about your mum’s news. I hope very much that her medical team will be able to make her as comfortable as possible. Such precious and difficult times you’ve got ahead of you both. But you both must be so proud of each other and appreciative of that beautiful bond that you have. You were both so brave and wise to make such enormous changes in your lives. Not many would be able to be as bold and daring. Your mum will live not only in your memories but in your stories too. And those stories will help to heal hearts and souls of so many. Please give your mum a huge hug from me. Take care of yourself. Lots and lots of love xx
Dear Elena - I will indeed pass on your beautiful words (and your hug!). Thank you again for being part of this community and the other one with share with Sharon. Each time you write from your life, I feel a great sense of gratitude for your perspectives.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum's news Tanya. I read the The Cure for Sleep in spring 2022 and when I was finished I immediately read it again. Bought a copy to give to a friend. Told another friend she needed to take it to her book group. Because there is so much truth, so much wisdom, so much love and so much raw fierceness in that book that it took (and still takes) my breath away. I am finally just days away from my now ex-husband moving out of my house, after a long, slow and painful dying marriage. Reading your mum's story in The Cure for Sleep helped give me strength, courage, and most of all hope for a different future for myself. She has played a small but important part in me being able to envisage a different life and have the courage to take those crucial steps to regain the freedom that has been lost to me for the best part of a decade. So thank you to you both. Much love. x
Suse, the way you have responded to my book and shared word of it means so much to me. That's all I wanted for my story, my mother's - not for criticial acclaim or prizes, but for it to be worth being passed from hand to hand.
The last days of a marriage, of a shared life, are so so hard. I honestly didn't believe my mother would survive it in 2020, those months after the end of the book. The first six months were wild and frightening...but then: I was astonished and awed at how quickly her life went into a late and beautiful bloom of new friends, self-sovereignty, and making a beautiful new home and routine, despite having so much less money and savings than before. If she had died in 2020 or before, very few people would have been part of mourning her passing. Now she will die surrounded by those who hold her in love and respect.
Whatever your situation now, I wish for you the same swift passage into more of everything you need and hope for. xxx
Tanya,
I continue to be struck by the tenderness of the photo of you and your mum. I admire you both so much for your willingness to have the hard discussions, to tell the truth and then the courage of your mum to really hear that truth so that the relationship could heal. Such a gift to all of us who read your book, who witnessed the power of change, a reminder of all that is possible, of new paths opening. Please share my gratitude to your mum for her graciousness in sharing these times with us, the offering of her struggles to continue to create meaning in her life, and therefore, in all of our lives, her ripple of compassion that will continue to move forth. It really has been her heroine’s journey to offer this sense of hope to us all, this challenge to live our lives to what is most true. It makes me smile to know that she was able to let go of all that held her tight and find true joy in her life. Much love to you both as you share these days together.
Sheila I will read your beautiful words aloud to Mum this evening, now that I've got her home from hospital and resettled into her beautiful seaside flat, loud with the sound of gulls and rooks.
Thank you again for being part of this community here. xx
I'm so sorry to learn of your mother's diagnosis, Tanya. What a tender time this must be for your entire family, but especially for the two of you. In your characteristically thoughtful way, you've provided your readers with many ways to stay engaged with the beautiful threads you've created here, and with you as you go through this passage. I remember my own mother's transition days as a sacred time out of time. Although incredibly painful, moments still float to the surface of my memory that comfort me. I wish you both courage as you navigate this time together... May it be as gentle and loving, and full of gratitude for life and what you've shared together.
Marilyn, I love what you've said her about a 'transition time'. And also about the time out of time. Mum has come home now feeling she can beat the odds and have a year or more instead of only a few months - and while I hope that comes to pass, my role as carer is to watch for signs of further decline and when I'm needed here continuously til the end stage, to try and - yes - put myself in that other time dimension that we experience when new mothers, or caring for a new small animal that comes into our home, or being with the dying. I hope that my failures of patience and perspective in the past will prepare me now not to be lacking in that way of being. Thank you again for joining our story-sharing project here. xx
Tanya, my experience with my mother's transition is that the other time dimension can teach us so much. It was really my fast-track and initiation into elder hood which, of course, is ongoing... Much love to you both. xx
Dear Tanya…I have been thinking of you and your mum lots since you shared the sad news with all of us. What a privilege it has been to be an active witness to her story, her unfolding late in life….her courage to break forth and set herself free. I say to her now: Your bravery is an example for everyone, and a reminder that it is never too late to go your own way in search of something better. Sending love….
Joan Didion wrote "We live by telling stories." Participating in this project has really made this powerfully clear; the palpable feeling of relief and contentment so strong when reading the words of others archived here, and submitting pieces of my own. In reviewing my own pieces, I am astonished by the depth I've reached in such short pieces. The one that means the most to me is "A Powerful Itch", on choosing, because that choice is really about finding the truth—uncovering, and telling.
Amy, these words from you for my mother will mean so so much to her. I will read them to her this evening, now I have got her home from hospital and settled back into her lovely flat (with its surround sound of seagulls and rooks).
I will love to make you one of the featured writers in Season Three, and will use this piece as the one you'd like to have showcased. I will come back here in the next fortnight to give you a link to a short Q&A I'd like you to complete so that I can share it with readers.
Our connection - first on Twitter, now on here - means so much to me. xx
For Season Three of The Cure for Sleep with Tanya Shadrick…
As you know, I’m wanting to begin featuring pieces from the story archive, and hope also to share some thoughts from their authors.
I’ve been trying to create a form for this purpose, but it’s getting too complicated. Instead, if you’d like to be featured, please may I ask you to give the following information here in comments?
Where are you based (country or county is fine)
Your bio (no more than 50 words; written in third person)
A link to your website or social media – only if you’d like that to be included
(Remind me of) The piece you’d like featured
Where are you in your creative journey right now – and how does writing for this story-sharing community support that? (no more than 100 words)
Is there anything else you’d like to say about how you came to join this community? (no more than 100 words)
1. Based in New England - United States
2. Amy Millios is a poet and writer who primarily focuses her work on the lived experience of chronic illness and the intergenerational trauma that often informs and shapes it. She is also a keen photographer.
3. amrambles.squarespace.com
4. On Choosing
5. I’m currently working on a book of poetry; also pulling apart my master’s thesis in order to better shape it into the memoir on living with chronic illness I originally envisioned. Becoming involved with The Cure for Sleep story archive has been instrumental in keeping me motivated in my work: not only has it afforded me the opportunity to connect with like-minded writers, the open-ended response timeframes have helped me to begin developing my own workflow around and between the pain and fatigue that so often make life a challenge.
This is wonderful, Amy. Love how you've described your practice here. I will let you know in advance via here when 'your' issue is coming out. Thank you again for being one of the earliest and enduring contributors to this project. Txx
🙏Xx Amy